Steve Shu's 21Publish Blog

During a recent deal negotiation,  I found interesting to reflect on two points in the book, "The Virtual Handshake". From the book, the points are (brackets added by me for clarity):

• "... several academic studies have found that people like each other better when they first meet virtually than when they meet face to face." (Source A)
• "Participants [in remote negotiating scenarios] who were members of the same business school were much less likely to hit a dead end than people who were negotiating across business schools (Stanford versus Kellogg)." (Source B)

The above two items are counterposing effects of doing business virtually or online.

Instinctively, I always try to make my blog very visible to clients, prospects, and partners. With clients, I have found that people tend to know a little bit more about me before I go into a situation via my blog. This can be especially good if I am walking into an adverse business environment or management situation.

What happens when I negotiate against someone though? Am I afraid they will find out about tricks that I use or where my weak points might be via my blog?

The short answer is that one has to know enough tricks to keep people on their toes.

More seriously though, most business development relationships that I work in are multi-issue negotiations. I think it generally makes sense to take a principle-centered negotiating stance in these situations. It's about crafting a total deal, not about playing an ego card to win every deal point. One can convey one's principles in an informative way through blog writings.

That said, in a recent negotiating scenario with a Columbia MBA, I had to think hard about that second bullet point above. When the negotiation was a little rocky, I sent my counterpart a snip from the second bullet point. She ignored it.

Fortunately, I think we'll both be able to look back at these times and laugh (in a good way). 

Source A - "Can you see the real me? Activation and expression of the "true self" on the Internet" by J. A. Bargh et. al.)
Source B - Carnegie Mellon professor Don Moore et. al. in "Long and Short Routes to Success in Electronically Mediated Negotiations: Group Affiliations and Good Vibrations").